Moose Mail™☕ Everyday Essentials
The starter shelf: words that come up before your second coffee, at the store, at the rink, everywhere.
double-double
A coffee with two creams and two sugars. Order it with total confidence anywhere in the country.
toque
A knitted winter hat. It is not a beanie. It will never be a beanie. Required equipment, roughly October to April.
loonie & toonie
The one and two dollar coins. The loonie is named for the loon on the back, and the toonie is named for the loonie, with a two in front. Mostly used for Timbits and parking.
keener
Someone a little too eager. The person who arrives at the rink before the Zamboni. Possibly you, reading a dictionary for fun.
“just gonna sneak past ya”
The official announcement that a Canadian is about to pass within two feet of you. Legally binding in grocery stores.
eh
Canada's all-purpose question mark. Turns any statement into a friendly invitation to agree.
pop
What much of the continent calls soda. Ask for soda in some diners and you may be handed baking soda.
washroom
The polite Canadian word for the bathroom or restroom. Asking for the washroom gets you there faster, and with more dignity.
sorry
The hardest-working word in Canada. It covers excuse me, my fault, your fault and sympathy, sometimes all in the same breath.
runners
Running shoes, sneakers, trainers: in most of Canada they are runners, whatever you plan to do in them, which is usually walk to the store.
serviette
A paper napkin. Ask for one in a Canadian diner and nobody blinks. Ask south of the border and you may get a small plate and a confused look.
eavestrough
The channel along the edge of the roof that catches the rain. Elsewhere it is a gutter. Here it is a trough, it fills with leaves every fall, and cleaning it is a personality test.
garburator
The under-sink food grinder that eats your leftovers. It started as a brand name and moved into the language the way it moves into plumbing: permanently.
parkade
A parking garage, especially out west, where the word was born in Alberta. In winter it is not parking, it is a heated prize.
klicks
Kilometres, in the quick spoken form. Canada measures in klicks the way it apologizes: constantly and without thinking.
hydro
Electricity, and the bill for it. In Ontario, BC and Manitoba the power so often comes from hydro dams that the whole grid just took the name.
mickey
A 375 mL bottle of spirits, sized for a coat pocket and a camping trip. Its enormous cousin, three litres in a bottle with a handle, is the Texas mickey.
two-four
A case of twenty-four beers. The basic unit of Canadian weekend measurement, and the reason the next entry exists.
May Two-Four
The Victoria Day long weekend in late May, named for the case of beer that traditionally opens it. It is the unofficial first weekend of summer, whatever the weather says.
Timmies
The whole country's nickname for Tim Hortons, used with the familiarity of a relative. There is one near you. There is one near everyone.
Canadian Tire money
The store's paper coupons that Canadians saved in kitchen drawers for decades and treated as a second national currency. The paper kind is retired now. The legend is not.
chesterfield
A couch or sofa, in the dialect of grandparents. Say it today and you sound charmingly vintage, like you also own doilies and strong opinions about tea.
stagette
A bachelorette party, in the word Canada actually uses. The groom's version is a stag. Both involve sashes, matching shirts and at least one questionable decision.
give'r
To go at something with everything you have. Trail muddy, snow deep, job ugly: you give'r and sort it out after. The movie FUBAR made it famous, and it was in use long before.
hoser
A lovable goof, made famous across the country by Bob and Doug McKenzie on SCTV in 1980. Nobody is truly insulted by it anymore. It is practically a term of endearment.
Canuck
A Canadian, full stop. It has been our nickname since the 1800s, it names a hockey team in Vancouver, and it is worn with pride on shirts every July 1.
yeah, no
Canadian conversation at its finest. “Yeah, no” means no. “No, yeah” means yes. “Yeah, no, for sure” means absolutely yes, and it confuses visitors beautifully.
aboot
The word Americans swear we say instead of “about”. We say “about”, maybe a touch rounder, the way you might if your mouth was cold. The myth is older than most of our cities.